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Even her own therapist told her that I was a normal guy and that she should temper her jealous overreactions.
So while I’ll never tell you that you’re not entitled to feel what you feel, if what you feel (anxiety, fear, insecurity) becomes your boyfriend’s problem — when he hasn’t done anything wrong — it’s really on you to deal in a healthier fashion.
Meaning: a woman can tell her devoted boyfriend of a year that since she doesn’t yet have a ring, she’s going to see other people. Believe me, I understand the emotion behind Circular Dating.
All you have to do is read this blog to know that I am intimately familiar with the frustrations and fears of women.
I had one girlfriend who nearly had a heart attack every time I picked up a Maxim magazine.
She may have been entitled to her feelings, but her insecurity that I couldn’t be attracted to her if I was also attracted to a model ended up destroying our relationship.
If I didn’t marry my wife after 16 months of dating, it wouldn’t mean that I knowingly used her for that time. Aren’t you thinking clearly about his flaws and whether you can live with them for the rest of your life? This is too inconsistent for me and I need to feel safe. Do you really want to be in that relationship for 35 years, where he’s so selfish or such a poor communicator that you never know where you stand?
That’s pretty much the gist of what I said to Rori’s readers. (By the way, if there are any guys here who are cool with your girlfriend dating other guys as a way of protecting herself and forcing you to shit or get off the pot, please speak up. And that’s dangerous if you believe that this is solid advice that considers how men think. Which is why I felt like the guy standing on the side of the road, waving his arms, determined not to let any women go over the cliff with this well-intentioned, but ultimately misguided, take on how to get a man to commit. I “just knew” that my girlfriend in 2003 was right for me. Same with the one in 2004, who dumped me after 3 months. Be careful about rushing into things: you very well could marry the wrong man – where if you dated him for two years, you would have learned more about him and potentially averted a mistake.
I used metaphors, anecdotes, capital letters, and wrote the way I normally do on here — blunt, powerful, and very confident that what I wrote has a sound basis in truth. I’m open to being wrong here.)Predictably, then came the blowback. A man who is right for you would not risk losing you to another man while he makes up his mind.
I don’t want to be the girlfriend, I want to be the wife!
You don’t become the wife unless you’re the amazing girlfriend .