The problems of dating
Aside from the overload of cuties to match with on dating apps, there are usually queer positive spaces in cities for people to meet and be their honest selves. It’s hard for a queer person from a small town or sparsely populated area to meet potential partners! Can you get a guy to fall in love with you even though he keeps calling you bro?A queer person living in a city with 5 million people has approximately 200,000 – that’s about 4%, and not the mythicized 10% – they could meet. Let’s take that 4% rule and apply it to a town of 8,000 people. Do you identify as lesbian and would prefer to only date women? Don’t give up, this doesn’t mean you can’t find a diamond in the rough of 160 suitors! For the LGBTQ community, this is a common obstacle. Let me preface this point by saying that many people choose to keep their sexual identity a secret for a range of reasons, including the preservation of their personal safety.has a list of 21 Netflix shows with “awesome gay characters”.Run through it and you’ll notice a trend: with the exception of 3 characters, most of these men are relatively fit and have strong masculine features.But it is gay culture (yes, gay specifically) that allows men to see each other as objective prospects; new toys to try out at the store before throwing them back on the shelf. First and foremost, our gay villages promote this gaze.On our streets are posters and clubs filled with muscle men and young, skinny half-naked dancers.
It is the norm to see men on apps like Grindr, Jack’d, Scruff, Bumble, and even Tinder dismiss entire groups of people based on their ethnicity. A recent study shows that 80% of black men, 79% of Asian men and 75% of South Asian men have all endured racism in their efforts to date.
Without further a due, here is a list of 8 dating problems the LGBTQ community faces.
How many times have you read anything like that on a person’s dating profile?
Asian men are messaged because they seem “cute and submissive”. As a result, we have a racial-dating-hierarchy with white men – the most sought out online and the least likely to respond to messages – at the top, and those with the least Eurocentric features at the bottom. Hey, it’s tough out there when you don’t fit the mold of a sexy hyper-masculine Adonis.
But why are we all so hard on each other when most of us don’t live up to this ideal? This includes some of us who are a little on the skinny side (like myself), or have a few extra pounds, or proudly exude feminine/androgynous energy (also like myself).