Orthodox jewish dating customs

In recent years, it has been observed that a growing number of individuals in the Modern Orthodox Jewish community attempt to find spouses but are unsuccessful.

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The mindset in which we approach dating can be very telling of whom I am, rather than whom the person is that I am going to meet. Do we heed the words of Hillel: “what is unpleasant to you, do not do to another?

This is reflected, for example, in the phrase “singles/shidduch crisis,” a shorthand term used to describe this phenomenon, that some view as marginalizing and pathologizing this group.

The present study seeks to further understand this situation in a systematic way via in-depth interviews with two unmarried men and three unmarried women from the Modern Orthodox community.

While they enjoyed the date and would like to meet again, they are told: “you are really a nice person but “not for me.” Saying to a person, that in an hour I can tell that you are not worth knowing any further, causes great pain.

I know countless couples who were “convinced” to give it another chance, and “lived happily ever after.” First dates are artificial often accompanied by stress and difficulty trying to make conversation with a perfect stranger. To avoid generating hurt feelings: Having this noble goal in mind, to develop heightened sensitivity to others’ feelings throughout the dating process, will most definitely increase and enhance one’s interpersonal and intrapersonal skills.

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