Dating a married man who is going through a divorc

In fact, I pity any man who dated me when I was separated; I was messed up, and didn’t even know it!

I also hasten to add that not separated man is disastrous to date – and should be considered as a unique individual.

He might feel he deserves more of a say, more over how she spends the money, among other things. If he was the perpetrator: Though some experts say, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”, I personally think that some people can learn from past mistakes.

It’s a mentality of “this bitch owes me” and he’s speaking from the Victim position. That being said, if your separated man was unfaithful in his marriage, you need to proceed very slowly and spend extra time assessing his character, behavior, and moral code.

That’s energy and space that he can’t and won’t channel into you in positive ways. He doesn’t consistently spend time with his children.

You also end up keeping company with someone who is aloof, moody, defensive and/or crabby. If your separated man isn’t seeing much of his kids, this should be seen as a warning, not a “bonus” (cause it’s more time spent with you, right? One reason he’s not parenting could be because he and his wife are disagreeing over child custody and access.

I remember one separated man I dated would seethe as he referred to his wife as the “Succubus” — she’s a demon that takes on a human form to sexually seduce men.

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.” Getting involved with a separated man usually comes with a host of issues and complications that spell drama, stress and heartache to a woman.

When a man has truly processed his divorce and moved on, he should be able to speak to it with compassion, kindness, and wisdom.

When he minimizes or avoids the topic, however, it suggests that either he has not yet worked through all the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance); or, he hasn’t yet hashed through the legalities (or possibly even begun). He can’t just flick it off his shoulder as he would a bug. Anger is a normal and healthy phase for your separated man to go through.

My concern, however, is that women are blindly and/or naively getting involved with separated men without understanding the huge risk: that is, . If your separated man consistently avoids talking about his divorce or says things to minimize or downplay it, consider it a warning sign worth flagging.

If you chose to proceed in dating him, I caution you to proceed slowly and with eyes wide open. Comments like, “Bah, I just want it over,” or “Doesn’t matter, we’ve been strangers for years,” may seem casual, even confident — but they also mask what’s going on underneath and behind the scenes.

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